Nookie in Ottawa, part II

Would you even believe? Mr. United Nations turned out to be some kind of a sociopathic freak.

I drove to downtown Ottawa around 7 o'clock along with my friend S. (she kind of talked me into it) and we headed out to Big Daddy's on Elgin, which is like the "hot spot" for happenin' singles in Ottawa (I think it's the only semi-official meat market place for people over 30 in this town, please do correct me if I'm wrong people) and we were both in a good mood, and to be honest I didn't feel like going to dinner with the guy in the first place, and S. was trying to convince me not to call him at all. But since I had previously agreed to go out...

-Hello Bridges?
-Hey....Mr. United Nations! How are you?
-er...fine, fine, and yourself?
-I'm good, thanks
-er...I'm fine, you?
-...
-I'm ok!
-...
-...so.....what are you doing tonight Bridges?
-Well I'm meeting some friends at Big Daddy's, but since I told you we could meet tonight, I thought you would like to join me there? Unless you had other plans for us?

(semi-long hesitation pause)

-No, no, you decide...

(note to the reader : one of my biggest turn-offs is when a man asks me out and tells me I GET TO DECIDE WHERE...I make decisions all the time, I want to be taken out for crisse's sakes! I can go out where I want when I'm on my own, thank you very much...when somebody offers to take you out, you kind of expect them to know WHERE they want to take you out, no? Is it just me?)

-Er...OK Mr. United Nations...I'll call you back around 8h30.
-OK bye!

That was the conversation. He was going to meet me there, with my friend S., and we'd... sorry...I was going to figure it out later. When we got in at BD's, we joined some of S's friends who were already there having dinner, we sat with them, said hello to other people we knew (Jeff-the-video-producing guy was there, I'll tell you about him some other time, you're going to loooove him), we made new friends, ordered some booze, and basically, chatted and enjoyed ourselves. Then

Mr.United Nations arrived. I said hello, introduced him to S, the rest of the gang, and asked him if he wanted to leave straight away, expecting him to say "yes".

-No, I'll have a beer first.
-OK then!

He went to get himself a beer, of course S. thought he was hideous and so did I to be honest, he really wasn't like I remebered him, it must have been really dark in the pub when I gave this dude my mobile number. I know, I know, that's not a very nice thing to say, but there, I said it. Not only was he short, he was (close to) butt-ugly. What the hell was I thinking???? There was absolutely no tingling in the small of my back and no loosening of the pelvian muscles, I can tell you that. But then I thought "Wait a minute Bridges. He must have a great personnality".

Yeah, whatever.

So he's off at the bar, BD's is crowded, S. and I are chatting away with the girls, and I kind of forget about him. I turn around 10 minutes later, he's got his back next to me and is not talking to anyone, at all. 20 minutes later, he was missing in action.

-Er, Bridges, where's Mr. United Nations?
-I don't know! He was right there 2 minutes ago!
-Well he's gone babe!
-What????
-He's gone!

I looked around, and S. was right. Mr. United Nations was nowhere to be seen. He must have abandonned ship. Oh well...I thought...

-High five girl!
-What?
-Hi-five! He's gone, now we can party on!
-Yeah, but that's weird...he just vanished!
-Whatever!
-Whatever!

And we burst-out laughing, shrugged our shoulders, and toasted our gin-oranges with special 2 1/2 ounces of gin in each, thanks to the professional services of Danny, our lovely (and very sexy) bartender.

A bit later in the evening, after many, many conversations with tons of people and even more gin-oranges, S. kicks me under the table, and points to the back of the bar, next to the washrooms.

-Bridges! Look!
-What? Where? Who?
-Look! It's Mr United Nations!

And she was right. Mr. United Nations was sitting at the bar, alone, drinking a beer, watching me like a hawk, and giving me really, really unpleasant looks. What? What the hell was that, I thought. He's giving me the "you're-not-giving-me-any-attention-so-I'll-just-go-sulk-in-the-corner-so-you-can-see-me-and-feel-sorry-for-me-you-bitch" routine, and I don't even know the guy.

-DON'T give him any attention...he looks weird!
-What the fuck is this guy's problem? He disapears and then he gives me the "you bitch!" look?

Mr. United Nations had been sitting there for, I don't know, about 90 minutes without giving any sign of life, now I see him watching me from way over there, and he doesn't look very happy. I feel stalked. Nice. Now I really want to meet the guy...

All of a sudden, He gets up, walks straight to me with a mean look on his face, looking royally pissed-off and says, as he's walking past, "Good night Bridges".

-Er...where have you been all evening?
-I was waiting for you to be alone; but you're too busy...
-Well why didn't you join the conversation and the group instead of running away?
-I don't like people around you.
-But...we're in a BAR!! Did you expect me to run after you?
-No, but I'm not going to run after you either! Goodnight!


Pffff...whatever, dude. I turn around, and lift an eyebrow in disbelief, confused and a bit shocked, really, to feel like a stalked girlfriend who was just caught cheeting on her man. I look at S. who lifts her glass to me, smiling.

-Well Bridges, that's got to be the best news of the night!
-What's that...
-One less sociopath running after you! Cheers!

Crazy girl. Well, she's right, you know. I should be thankful. I gave her a big wet kiss on the cheek.

Danny! I'll have another one. Make it a double!


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