Dinnerworks Ottawa takes the cake...and tries to eat it too

Ottawa is a very dry place to look for a boyfriend/lover/man, especially when you're an independant single gal with a few marks on your belt and that you have some (very limited, mind you) expectations. Travelling to other cities and meeting men whilst abroad (you don't need to go too far for that matter, Toronto & Montreal are not so far away geographically, yet they seems like a completely different planet when it comes to seducing the opposite sex) always makes returning to Ottawa a very, very harsh return to reality. Last week, after coming back from the cruise and filled with a new outlook on meeting people & relationships (call it the loveboat high) I decided to give Dinnerworks Ottawa another try. Last time was not too conclusive. Make up your own mind...This is a letter I sent to Dinnerworks the day after the meeting. I had spent the evening with the Professor (which you already know about) and a lovely sophisticated lady that was just about as disapointed as I was.

Hello,

Just a quick word to let you know how disappointed I was when (almost) no one showed up at the dinner last night….It was only me, Mary, and this person that shall remain nameless...let's call him circus freak for informative purposes...by the way, WHY oh God WHY does someone like that show up at one of those dinners…I don’t want to be mean or rude or anything, but this guy is one step away from being an escapee from a mental facility….he has no job, has an IQ of about Forest Gump’s average, was popping anti-depressants at the dinner table and is quite revolting-looking….(In another words, when you think you’ve hit the bottom of the barrel men-wise, look under the barrel…) I thought Dinnerworks was for professionals….He has attended many dinners as I have learned from your charming hostess (who was very professional btw) but PLEASE…if nobody else ever shows up at your dinners again...please take a hint that this quality of people attending might, just might be a MAJOR turn-off for future guests…men & women alike….It is very insulting for the women present…to be paired up with circus freaks when you are expecting to meet "professionals"...

Thank God the Professor showed up 40 minutes late; we managed to have a pleasant dinner, me, the Professor & Mary (the other person was pretty much shut out unfortunately; it was quite embarrassing)

I would like to be reimbursed the 59$ that I paid to attend the dinner; and I don’t plan to attend another dinner unless I am sure that this creepy-looking gentleman is not present and that there will actually be PEOPLE there to have a conversation with.

Regards,
Bridges L.

And this is what they answered back.

Bridges,

I am sorry to hear that only 4 people showed up. There was 8 people on the list to attend dinner. If people show up or not is beyond our control. It is often that people have last minute commitments and do not notify us that they will not be attending. We cannot reimburse you but we can send you to another dinner free of charge (but you will have to pay for your own meal). I look forward to hearing from you.

OK. Whatever. That was back in September, so I kinda forgot about it, until I got an email asking if I wanted to come to the dinner that was organized in three days; I made sure that the men invited were not the same people than last time (God forbid) and accepted the invitation. 24 hours later however, I learned that I had to head off to Toronto ASAP and therefore could not attend the dinner. So, I did what a sophisticated polite lady would do; I sent an email informing them of my absence.

I'm sorry I won't be able to attend as I have to leave for Toronto unexpectedly on Thursday - sorry about that

And the next day, which was THE day of the dinner and of my leaving for Toronto, this is what I got in my mailbox.

From: Dinnerworks Ottawa [mailto:ottawa@dinnerworks.ca]
Sent: 17 janvier 2008 15:56
To: Bridges L.
Subject: You were very upset the last time when people cancelled on us

We had a really great group of men organized for tonight and you have made it difficult for us to find a substitute.

Sorry you can't attend but please understand that this is not good for us or the people that will be attending the dinner tonight.

I thought I would just forward our correspondence from before as we explained what happens at our end.

And with that she attached all the emails that I had sent her previously stating my utmost discontent with their services. How rude, I thought. First I get screwed by going to a dinner where no one shows up, ok, fine, I can live with my dispoinment, I understand these things happen, but hey; I'M THE CLIENT HERE AND I GET THE LAST WORD. I don't want the girl from the company that's supposed to woo me into attending the dinner giving me grief about not attending AND giving them proper notice in doing so. Please. This is what I answered.

I am very sorry – I learned yesterday that I have to leave this pm for Toronto and believe me - a dinner sounds a lot more interesting to me than a rushed flight…

I had the decency of actually telling you I was not attending – as opposed to just not showing up – like the majority of people do…on one occasion I got there late (10 minutes) and the hostess had left and I had nowhere to sit….and the other one there was simply nobody there except a circus freak and someone I had met before. Now excuse me for taking offense; I didn’t plan to attend in the first place, was offered to and wanted to but something came up, and I don’t think I make it difficult for anyone since….this was only set up 3 days ago…give me a break…if women don’t attend it’s because your dinners are usually lame and there’s a slim chance of maybe meeting someone who got lost along the way and decided to try Dinnerworks without previous feedback from anyone...I can’t believe you are giving me grief for telling you in advance I was not going to be there. Your lack of professionalism is quite disturbing.

I do not wish to attend anymore dinners by Dinnerworks; please take my name off the list and keep whatever money I paid you to buy the people attending tonight a stiff drink to get them through what will most likely be a disappointing evening.

Regards,
Bridges L.

For some reason, I don't think I'll be hearing from them again.

Girl in front of "Girl before a mirror", and hot dogs

I had to ditch my American friends. Their obnoxious ignorance, lack of emotion in presence of the art world's most prized treasures and innate comments like " a 5 year old child could do better" or " Why are all these people waiting in line to see this painting - it doesn't even mean anything" drove me nuts. I had to let them zoom past me while taking my time to stroll around the MOMA, stunned by the Mark Rothko's, Kandinsky's, Cézanne's & Giacometti I had only seen in books and poster shop stands until I stood face to face with her - Picasso's "Girl before a mirror".

Last year in Paris I visited the Picasso Museum, only to walk out of there disappointed. I found out that all my favorite pieces, probably his most famous, are scattered around the globe's most impressive museums, the majority of his work in New York. Well, there she was in "the flesh", after hanging around my house in a much smaller, framed poster like fashion version for many many years. I stood in front of it, speechless, teary-eyed, mouth opened, and stunned by such beauty, emotion and amazingly vivid colours. One minute, two minutes, then three. Amazing. It was so worth it to come to New-York, I thought, breathtaken.

-"Hey Bridges - we're all bored and hungry - we're going out for hot dogs - Are you coming?"

-Uh-huh. Hot-dogs.

I hate hot-dogs - all that squished-up meat left-overs mixed-up with chemicals & spices, boiled by a street corner vendor who uses the same cloudy water day after day - How can anyone think of hot-dogs in the presence of this notorious painting that to me, symbolises all the complexities and torments of a woman observed and dissected by an inquisitive and egotistical man and how she tries to reconstruct her own image of herself through his regard is beyond my comprehension. But then again, maybe it's all about the eye of the beholder. Inspired to create in a dadaist/pop-arty/Marcel Duchamp kind of way, I come up with a spur of the moment creation of my own that represents the interpretation of Bridges' American friends at the MOMA; I'll let you imagine the artwork - it's entitled "Hot-dogs : Americans bored and hungry".

Why am I the only one laughing as I walk outside the MOMA to meet up with my friends?

Oh, Canada....my home and native land...

...this is the weather you give me on April 16th? That's it! I've had enough! I quit!

My queendom for a plane ticket!!

Back from vacation blues!

Coming back from vacation is painful. You have to adjust to your "normal" life again, and get back into your "métro-boulot-dodo" ways. For some reason, I'm finding this to be, how shall I put it, excruciatingly difficult, and the shitty weather that's been hanging around Ottawa these past few days is not helping.

How can you fall back on your feet after living like a queen for 9 days? I am finding myself hopelessly looking for my next escapade on the internet and making machiavelous plans to sell my house and move to somewhere sunny, like, St-Maarten island, or perhaps, California or even Florida for that matter. Anywhere with permanent sun. Anywhere but this gloomy looking city of mine, populated by 80% women. I want to spend my life in the sun, spray suntan lotion on my kids everyday, and never, ever, have to wear a winter coat again.

Sheeeeesh....

But cheer up Bridges! Spring is right around the corner! Soon the lilacs will bloom, you'll be planting flowers and entertaining your friends on your terrace!

Ok, ok. point taken. To cheer me up a little, I booked a babysitter last night and went out, on my own. (If I didn't then I would stay home all the time, so there, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do) I stopped by one of my favorite spots in Ottawa, "Big Daddy's crab shack", also known as the city's pick-up spot. There was so many women there it was not even funny; I ended up having this conversation with a few people and doing shots to forget our sorrows. I met Jen, a gorgeous and spunky thirty-year old brunette, who drew the sames conclusions I did a few months back. "No", she said. "It's not just you. Ottawa is apparently the worst place for single women after the age of 30. I saw a TV report once, and in Canada, Ottawa is the bottom line. The report said that there are 8 single women to 1 single man between the ages of 30-45"

WHAT??????

Now what was that report so I can actually see for myself....and tell me dear...what was the best place to be a single woman???

"Port Coquitlam, BC. 12 men for 1 woman."

Well now. I think I know where my next vacation will be....NOT!!!

The day after election day in Quebec

Just so you know, I won my elections.

I voted for Pauline Marois. She's probably on a beach somewhere, as we speak, drinking a cocktail, and saying, not even trying to hide her smile, "well, they got what they deserved!" (Those chauvinists parti québécois pigs! Tant pis pour eux - gang de crétins misogynes - no wait, that's from me - )

It would have been a completely different Quebec today, had Pauline been (rightfully so) chosen to be FIRST leader-ess of a politicial party in Quebec, but then again, what do I know, hey?

I would have voted for you Pauline, if only you had been there. Instead I stayed home, sulked, pouted, and threw popcorn at the TV.

Then, I did my toe nails.

Screw all of you political idiots.

Follow-up on the Single gourmet adventure(s)

Am I the only woman who noticed?

I've been to a few of these single events now, wheter it's with this one, or speed-dating, or meet-market, I've been there, I've done it, and I have to say...Sorry guys, but you kinda suck compared to the girls!

The women I have seen in these events, first off, outnumber the men. The women are pretty, intelligent, witty, funny, have their shit together, many of them are single mothers, they have their own careers, they have their own houses, they have master's degrees and doctorates, to put it lightly, they basically ROCK and they're out on the prowl, looking for potential mates. But of course, with all these qualifications, they're quite picky. And they're allowed to. But they are faced with these guys. Look around. girls. Please tell me I'm wrong. Please. I beg you.

The men who go to these events, on the other hand, are a whole other story. Most of them seem scared, uncomfortable, shy, socially challenged and the majority come off as being a bit needy. (Well what did you expect Bridges! It's a SINGLE'S meetup!! er....helloooooo!!!!) OR, they are desperatly in need of a serious makeover. Here's an idea for Ottawa business people : Makeovers for guys! Transform an IT geek into a charming and sophisticated attractive bachelor! Get him some decent clothes! Give him a haircut! Please, please, get him some new shoes! and some fashion lessons...

1- Do not wear a baseball cap if you're over 22. EVER.
2- Do not wear white socks, except at the gym. EVER.
3- Buy the girl a drink, will ya? Sorry pal, but you'll never get laid if you don't provide the booze. Old fashioned, I know, but it's the truth. (I know, the truth hurts.)
4- Don't entertain two university graduate women with the stories of your collection of TV shows from the 60's and 70's and try to impress them by knowing all the names of the B actors who played so-and-so's character - It doesn't quite work. (It didn't work for me or L...in fact, it kind of creeped us out.)
5- Women usually don't bite (see #3) so it's OK to ask for a phone number at the end of the evening!

I did have a good time last Saturday, and tonight as well. However, gentlemen, we women have got it going on, and you guys are struggling to catch up.

Catch up to speed already, will ya?


(er...Bridges...when was the last time you had nookie? Just saying.)

Happy International women's day, ladies!