Hungover?

Ssssshhh! Jesus H. Christ is it really necessary to say it this loud? You don't have to scream, I'm right here!

I remember the times, when I was young(er), where outrageous nights out implied heavy boozing, dancing, sheer crazyness and very little sleep. The following day, I would take a copious breakfast and go about my normal business, with very little day-after consequences. Ah...but those were the days. The days when my body used to cooperate a litle more!

Today, having guests over for dinner and drinking 4 bottles of wine for 3 people, on Saturday nonetheless, leaves me brutally hungover STILL on Monday morning! (or was it the little after-desert spliff? Who knows.) Now I'm groggy, I have no patience with the kids, going to and fro the sink to the dishwasher (a journey of approximately 2 feet) feels like a safari expedition, and most of all, I'm emotionally disturbed! I cry for no apparent reason...this is not good. I should have been more careful; apparently, curing hangovers starts even before you start boozing. After a little research on the net, since pointing and clicking is the only activity I can cope with today, here are the most interesting suggestions I found :

• Real hangovers will truly vaporize using the Swedish style... When u get up (it doesn't matter if its early or not) u let someone take you to the local beauty farm (because your still drunk as hell) get yourself sweaty in the sauna for about 10-15 minutes, jump into the freezing water afterwards and look, only after half an hour you got up, your hangover is already disappeared!
  

Er...OK, but what if your hangover suddenly becomes a heart attack? Any cure for that?

• Firecracker
  50/50 Tequila and Tabasco sauce in a shot glass. Clears the head like a shotgun
  

And to get over the hangover from the hangover cure you take....

• On arriving home drink 2 pints of strong Tea (or Coffee) make the drink as sweet as possible, now for the tough part, eat a family sized container of Ice Cream (Tesco's Stripy Brand for best results but any Ice Cream will do the job)
  Follow this simple advice and never fear the morning after again!!

Right, right....and the fat ass that comes along with eating a tub of ice cream is cured by...

These are all bollocks...Everybody knows that the cure to hangovers is plainly....water! You're feeling like crap because you're dehydrated! DUH!!! Or, even simpler....DRINK IN MODERATION!!! YOU'RE NOT 23 ANYMORE!!!

I told you being hungover made me cranky!! Well at least my sense of humour is not completely shot. To learn a little more about hangover cures or to get ammunition to make fun of people who are hungover, go to www.rupissed.com

Cheers maties!

(now where's my Tylenol...)